Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
