Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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