i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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