Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
