I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
