She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
