i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Randomize
