i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
