Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
