Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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