woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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