Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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