My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Your dad touched me again.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
