He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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