it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is this like a preordered booty call?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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