you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
