He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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