Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
