just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
