like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just pee around me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
