I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
