And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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