Cold hands, warm shart.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
