She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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