I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
