Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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