quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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