very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
