Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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