Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
