He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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