I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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