Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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