Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
