So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize