wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
