and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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