so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just had sex on a roof
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
