thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
