I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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