Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
