so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
