Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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