i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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