I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
