I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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