OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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