ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
