There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
