Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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