Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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