I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
