Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
