porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
