she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
The ass gains better be worth it
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