I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
