He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
