summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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