the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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