I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
