Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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