Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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